Speechless

Thank you arttherapyblog.com

I pride myself on being articulate, but today, words escape me. Yesterday I went to class and it was business as usual. push-ups, sit-ups, warms-ups, stretching. Then we were told to gear up, which is a little unusual, since we typically fight with no gear (but since that incident I do wear my mouth guard;) I was called into the middle of a Samurai Circle. Surprise! It was my promotion test.

Let me be perfectly honest: I sucked. I just don't think I was very good. I ran out of juice, I relied on my fall-back techniques, and I took few risks.

But my Sensei and my fellow kareteka, here is where I am at a loss. They held me up. Yelling encouragement, reaching out to touch me on the back or tap my head as I danced past them, telling me that did have it in me, to keep my hands up, to just keep going. I fought for a little over an hour, I think. When my spirit was flagging Sempai M gave me openings, and took shots he could have easily avoided.

After I was done everyone came up to me and congratualted me but I don't think I deserved their congratulations. Sensei says that I just have no perspective because I was in the middle of it all, and he was on the outside watching.

I am overwhelmed with gratitude for the love and support. Domo. Osu!

Mean Isn't Funny. Nor is it Motivating.

I went to see my friend, a Sempai J, take his sandan test. It is this test that will graduate him to full-fledged Sensei rank, one for which he is eminently qualified.

He was magnificent. His kata was beautiful, his ippon kumite thoughtful and effective, and his bunkai amazing & inspiring.

The above sign was written by one of our Senseis - a former Sensei of mine and current one of his (in two styles, I think.) I am grateful for all I learned at that dojo, the years of training and knowledge, and the blood, sweat, and tears - all in buckets and only small amounts of it with love.

But that sign explains why I was a bad match for that dojo. I don't believe in mean. I have studied under Sempai (Sensei elect) J and found him to be thoughtful, rigorous and encouraging. I hope that as he teaches more he shifts the culture away from mean-spiritedness and towards the true foundation and essence of karate. Because, after all, there is no first strike in karate.