Speechless

Thank you arttherapyblog.com

I pride myself on being articulate, but today, words escape me. Yesterday I went to class and it was business as usual. push-ups, sit-ups, warms-ups, stretching. Then we were told to gear up, which is a little unusual, since we typically fight with no gear (but since that incident I do wear my mouth guard;) I was called into the middle of a Samurai Circle. Surprise! It was my promotion test.

Let me be perfectly honest: I sucked. I just don't think I was very good. I ran out of juice, I relied on my fall-back techniques, and I took few risks.

But my Sensei and my fellow kareteka, here is where I am at a loss. They held me up. Yelling encouragement, reaching out to touch me on the back or tap my head as I danced past them, telling me that did have it in me, to keep my hands up, to just keep going. I fought for a little over an hour, I think. When my spirit was flagging Sempai M gave me openings, and took shots he could have easily avoided.

After I was done everyone came up to me and congratualted me but I don't think I deserved their congratulations. Sensei says that I just have no perspective because I was in the middle of it all, and he was on the outside watching.

I am overwhelmed with gratitude for the love and support. Domo. Osu!

Mean Isn't Funny. Nor is it Motivating.

I went to see my friend, a Sempai J, take his sandan test. It is this test that will graduate him to full-fledged Sensei rank, one for which he is eminently qualified.

He was magnificent. His kata was beautiful, his ippon kumite thoughtful and effective, and his bunkai amazing & inspiring.

The above sign was written by one of our Senseis - a former Sensei of mine and current one of his (in two styles, I think.) I am grateful for all I learned at that dojo, the years of training and knowledge, and the blood, sweat, and tears - all in buckets and only small amounts of it with love.

But that sign explains why I was a bad match for that dojo. I don't believe in mean. I have studied under Sempai (Sensei elect) J and found him to be thoughtful, rigorous and encouraging. I hope that as he teaches more he shifts the culture away from mean-spiritedness and towards the true foundation and essence of karate. Because, after all, there is no first strike in karate.

Get Out of the Way

I snagged this pic from Google images. I believe all credit goes here - an artist named Graham Jeffery.

My favorite part of the week is Fridays at 5:30am in the dojo. Today's lesson, (like yesterday's and every other day's) is GET OUT OF THE WAY. Sensei says "be like smoke." Isn't that the best advice ever? Yes it is. Apply it to everything. So, if someone is annoying me, all I have to do is GET OUT OF THE WAY. And if it still annoys me than it is my ego, my desire to slag on them to feel better about myself.

Yup...get out of the way!

Aside: Now my sweat smells like corn chips. What's up with that?

There's No Place Like Home

I have found a new dojo! Sensei seems honorable, challenging, respectful, and dedicated. I hope to be a good student and I look forward to watching him as he shares his wisdom and expertise. But 8 months out of the dojo is a very long time, and I have forgotten much. Back to practice!

New Dojo?

Algo esta cambiando!

Check back - I might actually start posting here......

Dream 8.31.09

Paging Dr. Freud...I had a nightmare that I was about to be kidnapped in my sleep. One of those panicked and terrified dreams where you are vaguely awake but can't wake yourself all the way up. In that state I felt something fluttering by my ear, and I knew it was my kidnapper.

Hours later, when I could finally sleep again, I dreamed I was at a MA competition in the supermarket aisle. My opponent was huge and as we faced off he grew to about 9 feet tall. Though a little nervous I thought very casually and with great conviction, "I'm gonna beat him."